ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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