how can u be prego again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
