life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
