I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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