The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
