Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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