I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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