I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
