we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
