I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wear drunk well.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
