We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
