shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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