so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
