no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
