summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
