I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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