Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
