Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
