I hope mine doesn't look like that
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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