you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize