if i died would you start the facebook group?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
