lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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