Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize