so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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