I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
