I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize