also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
