he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
