wrigley field is MILF paradise
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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