I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
