oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
