She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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