dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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