Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The adults are the big ones right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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