Sponge bath it is.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
