3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
as a side note pls kill me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
