I can't watch pbs sober anymore
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize