Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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