my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have demons in me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
