Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
