she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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