i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he was CRYING into my vagina
it's like iHOP with fire
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
try to milk me bitch
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