so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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