I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
