Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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