You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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