Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
