I cannot find my penis.
I looked at my own cervix.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
