Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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