I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
