Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize