i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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