You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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