idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just saw a hot homeless man
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
