no. you can't hotbox the world.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
