so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
where does the pee come out of this thing
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
