Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize