We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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